“I loved sitting on my veranda sipping quality scotch, puffing a Cuban cigar and watching Cuba on the horizon, or the oceanic vista. Did this late in the evenings many times.”
“Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.”
“It is important to remember that whereas justice has grandeur not devolving from the simian skull of man, law is a human institution and therefore in many respects ridiculous and perverse”
“Now for the tea of our host Now for the rollicking bun, Now for the muffin and toast, Now for the gay Sally Lunn!”
“Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.”
"I still owe money to the money to the money I owe"
"Thou Shall Not Crave Thy Neighbour"
“Bigfoot may well be an extraterrestrial, because - remember Chewbacca?”
“Like the strawberry wives, that laid two or three great strawberries at the mouth of their pot, and all the rest were little ones.”
“A little wine sometimes, that's all. Spirits (are) bad. Alcohol wrong. Herb does grow.”
“A man who is furnished with arguments from the mint will convince his antagonist much sooner than one who draws them from reason and philosophy”
“Out of writing all those books, people were looking for Waldo in his prose. His books are ones that will be in print for a long time. He'll be sadly missed as a teacher and a friend by so many.”